A Life in a Day of Lawyer
Following is an excerpt from my speech in Toastmaster's Club, based on my true experiences.
People say that I have funny bones. I think either they have a poor sense of humour or my humour has downtrodden. Therefore, I chose Humorous pathway to test and hone my skills.
Good evening my fellow toastmasters from Dubai and Male. Wow, both enriching, exquisite and luxurious places, which are in my bucket list. Topic of my speech is “A Life in a Day of Lawyer”.
To the grammarian, there isn't any grammatical mistake in the title. You heard it right. It is actually that way.
Do you ever get a feeling when you wake up in the morning that today's going to be my day. And feel great, motivated and inspired. Yes yes? Well, that isn't my case except the motivation part because the only motivation I have each day is filling my pockets with the green, yellow coloured bills. Because if they’re in my pocket, then only I can fulfil my bucket list, of visiting Male and Dubai. I seldom get such feeling that today would be my day, because it is neither the God nor I who decides how my day goes, it's in the hands of the Hon'ble Judge. Yes. That's true.
Being a woman, we have always been taught by society how to keep our man, in-laws, children, society happy. I wonder why nobody taught me how to keep a judge happy. They say that a good lawyer knows the law and a great lawyer knows the judge. I am definitely going to be a bad one as I can assure that some of them might have a grudge against me.
Courtroom is no less than a home. Even today, when I want to take permission for a sleepover with my friends, I have to check the temperature of both the courts at home, I meant my parents. Yes, one never knows when previous orders passed by them might get overruled because of their own fists and fights and then I become the sufferer.
The other day, I asked the BENCH to give the next date of the hearing. Next thing I know that it felt so homely as if the judge was my Ma asking me questions and answering them simultaneously and the only thing I remember that I never got the next date of hearing. The best part was that the judge didn't say that all the problems in the case were because of my excessive usage of the phone, which is a universal belief of every mother. Right?
Other part of the day goes in fitness. Mostly everyone in this WFH era performs some kind of physical activity. But I don't indulge myself in any of those activities, yet I have abs in the shape of a beer belly and biceps similar to a stuffed toy. People wear athleisure for fitness and I wear black formals and heels for the same. People lift 5kgs dumbbells and run at 10x speed on the treadmill. And I carry 5kgs files and simultaneously run from floor to floor to Courtroom to Courtroom, burning 1100 Cals in 4hrs (this is what my smart watch shows). You will say use the elevator. I would say that elevator ponders a lot on it's existential crisis standing there idle saying, “USE ME, I am still fit and as fast as the one in Burj.” And I Laugh out loud. Yes, because, by the time it will take me to 6th Floor from Ground Floor (and going to Basement levels first before moving upwards), I would have reached my destination, though huffing and puffing. 😮💨
What Netflix show- Suits- showcase, the reality is far from reelity except the bills. I wish that I also had a colleague as cool, smart and good looking as Harvey Spectre, but it's all sham. All I see salt and pepper hair, potbellies and sweat at the age of 25+.
By end of the day, one can hardly figure out the difference between burnt chicken and me, because both become black, one because of the excessive heat through cooking and other because of excessive sun and black suit. And this change of colour in my skin tone bothers my aunt as she worries alot whether I would get a suitable match. As if she is too sure that someone will ask the hand of a lady lawyer for their beloved delicate pampered son. I don't understand why men or people fear me? I mean I am just like any next door girl with all the similar dreams about love, life and relationships, yet all I hear as a compliment is that “I am intimidating.” No, it’s is so not true. Men, I say. I mean it's common sense that how would I know to manipulate things in favour and get all his assets in my name. I mean if someone threatens me saying that, “you don't know who my father is”, it's too obvious that I wouldn't know how to sue him for such threat. Yet they fear me. I mean I am such a naïve, innocent, sweet, next door types girl, how would I know ticks and tricks of arguing. Yet, everyone fear me. People, People!! Ugh
By the time I reach home, it is already time for me to get up and get going again and restart my day with the same daily motivation.
It made me remember my internship days- I approached the bench just to tell the judge that I’m an intern and we are not prepared for the matter today. He was almost on the verge of disbarring me. Good old days! Goes without saying that I could relate word to word :)
Feels so energetic and enjoyable to experience. Why don't you try running early morning? That would make taking the stairs, so quick and easy. Just a suggestion!