"Bhaag Daud Bhari Zindagi Mein Thakna Mana Hai"
Famous punchline, infamous habit
Busy, vyastata, samay ki kami, time is running, saans lene ki fursat nahi etc. - phrases we hear in every urban Indian household, especially in cities like Delhi-NCR or Mumbai.
But amid this whirlwind, I found myself asking, what exactly are we running from? What are we running towards?
And then pharma co. capitalize these concepts and lifestyles and to promote the hustle culture they roll out vitamin meds or energy drinks saying- Bas ek Revital subah sham or Red Bull gives you wings. (no hate towards these companies or their products)
When I realised I have become One
A few months ago, I was on a staycation with friends, a four day escape including a weekend. The first two days were a balance, we worked on our laptops during the day and went out in the evenings, exploring and unwinding.
Then came Saturday morning. I woke up 7 AM, restless, anxious and to add, the heavy drapes made it feel like it was still midnight. I freshened up, meditated briefly and got back into bed. My friend on the next cot stirred and asked the time. I said “Wake up! it's 7:30.”
She replied groggily, “Why? It's a weekend. Let me sleep. You should sleep too. Our agenda is to rest.”
Honestly, I was sleepy. I nodded, stayed in bed but two hours later, I woke up, again. Out of habit (or impulse), I said, “Wakey Wakey, it's 9:30. Get up freshen up.”
She snapped, "Shut the F up. Why the hell are you telling me the time. Why are you so restless? Why do you want me to freshen up. It's a Saturday morning. Is your maid coming, do you have to give your clothes for laundry, is there a flight to catch? We are here to get some rest and sleep. I would suggest you to sleep too. And don’t you tell me the time again. Argh!”
I was a little shaken, a little embarrassed even, but the point was made. I took it seriously. I let the guilt go and drifted into one of the most restful, drooling naps I’ve had in years.
I remember waking up around 2 PM. The person who was ready at 7:30 AM, for no real reason had now slept 'Ghode bech kar', guilt free. I felt fresh, relaxed. Still sleepy but hungry too. We ordered, ate slowly and took another long afternoon nap. Later, we finally stepped out to enjoy the evening.
That day stayed with me. I realised I’ve never allowed myself to sleep past 7:30AM on a weekend at home. Like many of us, I grew up in a household where waking up after sunrise was frowned upon. I understand the logic of early mornings- “dawn routines”, but feeling guilty for not waking up early? That shouldn’t be the norm. Weekends are for errands, sure — but also for resting, restoring, and listening to your body.
That guilt was ingrained, the result of years spent waking up early, often getting scolded for sleeping late, even on Sundays.
Even on family vacations, my father made sure we left the hotel by 7AM “ So we can explore more places.” And we did. But in hindsight I wondered, wasn’t “rest” also part of the vacation?
Leaving in Delhi- NCR, I travelled over 20 km just for school, a little more for work. One hour was the bare minimum to reach anywhere. For over 15 years, this lifestyle became my normal. I took pride in it. But now I realise how much I missed. I regret how quietly, invisibly, it impacted me- mentally, physically, emotionally. I missed on many things.
My Bhaag Daud Bhari Zindagi
Three years ago, while working as an Associate, my office timings were hectic. Yet I joined it, thinking “I have managed before, I can do it again and then the pay is better.” But I didn’t realise the toll it would take.
10 AM to 8 PM, Monday to Saturday. More than 2hrs of travel every day (to & fro). I convinced myself that: ‘everyone in my field does this. This is how it works if you want to climb that ‘invisible ladder of success.’
“Being busy, even if meant travelling 25Kms one way, is a privilege.”
The realisation hit slowly. I began gaining weight, I had no time for leisure or exercise or for a walk for 30mins. Then, one night, while reading book on a metro ride back home, I started crying. Not because the plot in the book touched my heart, but plot of my life felt distorted. I wept but couldn’t hold back. It was burn out, the brain rot situation. I was running on auto - pilot mode in the name of “work”.
I would wake up at 7, stretched my aching back (because 11 hrs shift), get dressed, wear lipstick and mascara, took the metro by 8:20 AM, reach by 9:45 AM, work my ass off, run courtrooms to courtrooms, get verbally bashed by my senior, came back home by 9:30 - 10 PM, eat with family, sleep by 11:30 PM. And Sundays? I wouldn’t step out of my bedzone, even for an errand. My hangouts, socialising, all reserved for Fridays or Saturdays. By Sunday evening, I’d just stare at the ceiling and contemplate life. And from Mondays? I would go back contemplating people rushing at Kashmere Gate and Rajiv Chowk Metro stations.
Never ending loop
I see the rush, every day. The moment the metro arrives at platform, people run like Usain Bolt, as if life is one long sprint, and we are all trying to outpace it.
Even on flights, the moment wheels touch the tarmac, people jump up, as if luggage will magically float down. Why? You and I will have to wait for 10 mins together at the Conveyor Belt No. 2, before luggage starts popping out from a rabbit hole.
Distance Lag
While visiting my friend in Lucknow, she told me that her home from Gomti Nagar was “far”.
“How far?”, I asked. “It’s 4 Kms.”
I was aghast. “Dude! that’s 10–15 minutes max and you are it’s saying far?’
She smiled and said, “Lucknow ke paimane se yeh bahut door hai. Paas toh 2 Km tak hota hai.”
Another time in Bhubaneshwar, where I was at a family trip. Our driver arrived 30 minutes late for a 7 AM pickup.
“Traffic jam,” he said.
“How far do you live?” I asked.
“Six kilometres,” he replied.
Traffic at 7 AM? We crossed the same “jammed” stretch, it was a 150-second red light, with five vehicles and a bhandara on the footpath. That’s it.
Inner me wanted to say, “Come to Delhi. Let me show you a real jam. When police barricades NH24, the jam is 5 Kms long. And the time he took to come from his home, I would have covered 20 Kms in half an hour on a weekday at 7 AM.”
The Run
I understand that metro cities offer more opportunities, but normalising 4 hr daily travel from Greater Noida to Gurgaon and taking pride, it’s a sham. Why not rent in Gurugram or switch our jobs to Noida? Is 4 hrs commute really worth? I would rather drive to Agra - Fatehpur Sikri.
But who am I to judge when I am a part of this rut.
Rest is Guilt
Rest has become an forgotten concept. Guilt, rush, rush hour, business and busyness, anxiety, stress, traffic and hot sunny sun, pollution and honks, AC and sweat smell- are the more familiar terms for people like us.
I wonder why ‘Run Clubs’ have suddenly become the new wave. They’re sold as “break the rut” or “get healthy” initiatives. But we’re already running, every single day. Choosing to run 10Kms on a weekend makes no sense, when I am already running through life from Monday to Saturday, on the same route either via metro or car.
Rest feels like a guilt, like the other day my mom took an evening nap, and said, “I think I slept too long”. It is actually her summer break. Why shouldn’t she rest?
I have seen my parents work tirelessly. Weekdays full of office work, but weekends full of chores, and yet they will say “Aaj kuch khaas nahi kiya.”
The Cities That Breathe
That is why I have fallen in love with mid tier cities like Dehradun, Chandigarh, Bhopal, Udaipur, Jodhpur, Srinagar, Shillong etc. These cities are surrounded by beauty, distances are short (by Delhi-NCR Scale), work hours end at dusk, and life is more sukoon, more shaant. Even the longest drive commute there barely crosses 45 minutes. These cities have their own aura and charm. And the air smells like trees and not just traffic.
If I get the chance to live or work there, I’m taking it, without thinking twice.
Final Thought
I’ll leave you with a line from a fellow Substacker
that captures this chaos perfectly,“Zindagi mein bhaagne ke chakkar mein, Fitness Goals pure hojaenge”
🌻
Glad you had a good sleep that day...and guessing you will never every ask your friend again to wake up at 7:30, especially during a staycation! :P
💛💛🙌